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Literature Text
Another year has passed.
She drinks a hundred cups of tea
& anxiety,
thinking that it's all the same -
but the sentence "I'm not much of a stresser"
has already become a joke.
Another year has passed,
and she can't recall the days when she thought
"this is me".
Now the only words left are "I don't know"
and "please don't look at me".
Rarely, she founds a good thing
in the golden jar of her youth -
with brittle hair and hollow heart
she used to be stronger.
She drinks a hundred cups of tea
& anxiety,
thinking that it's all the same -
but the sentence "I'm not much of a stresser"
has already become a joke.
Another year has passed,
and she can't recall the days when she thought
"this is me".
Now the only words left are "I don't know"
and "please don't look at me".
Rarely, she founds a good thing
in the golden jar of her youth -
with brittle hair and hollow heart
she used to be stronger.
Suggested Collections
Her golden jar has begun to go dark. She still doesn't know a thing
about herself.
Stresser = a person stressed out by something, a person who gets easily stressed out.
Probably not real English.
about herself.
Stresser = a person stressed out by something, a person who gets easily stressed out.
Probably not real English.
© 2013 - 2024 hae-ri
Comments3
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Hello! I adore the first part of the poem, although I had to read your comment to realise "stresser" isn't a real English word but, oh well, it fits really neat in here and I really like it. 
I like the story that is portrayed here. A women whose hair and heart got stronger (though we never know why) but is sinking into so much anxiety that she already deems it part of her life, as mundane and acceptable as drinking tea. I would suggest changing "drinks" to "drank" because I assumed a hundred cups of tea is referring to the amount she drank throughout the previous year.
I think there are some great ideas here, but I feel as if the poem lacks a bit punch by the ending. The second to last and last stanzas are simply repeating what we already know from the third to last stanzas - if she used to be stronger, she is now getting weaker, of course. Sometimes, in poetry (and in writing overall), less is more, so I would definitely enjoy this poem even more if it were shorter. Have you considered ending in "with brittle hair and hollow heart/she used to be stronger", for instance? Because it seems to me as if this already says it all, meaning we understand from here she used to have brittle hair and a hollow heart and no longer has those things, yet she was stronger before. What do you think?
I hope you won't mind this comment! I am not very practiced at reviewing poetry, so I apologise in advance for any misunderstandings. Take care and thank you for sharing
I like the story that is portrayed here. A women whose hair and heart got stronger (though we never know why) but is sinking into so much anxiety that she already deems it part of her life, as mundane and acceptable as drinking tea. I would suggest changing "drinks" to "drank" because I assumed a hundred cups of tea is referring to the amount she drank throughout the previous year.
I think there are some great ideas here, but I feel as if the poem lacks a bit punch by the ending. The second to last and last stanzas are simply repeating what we already know from the third to last stanzas - if she used to be stronger, she is now getting weaker, of course. Sometimes, in poetry (and in writing overall), less is more, so I would definitely enjoy this poem even more if it were shorter. Have you considered ending in "with brittle hair and hollow heart/she used to be stronger", for instance? Because it seems to me as if this already says it all, meaning we understand from here she used to have brittle hair and a hollow heart and no longer has those things, yet she was stronger before. What do you think?
I hope you won't mind this comment! I am not very practiced at reviewing poetry, so I apologise in advance for any misunderstandings. Take care and thank you for sharing